His Burning Desire to Talk About Sex on Your First Date in DC

We do have a different kind of daters than those you find on dating sites, but that doesn’t stop some of our daters from treating their IJL match like an internet hookup.

Here’s what happened: Jack was out at Perry’s in Adams Morgan having some sushi with Jill. They were having a great conversation and enjoying the kind of laughing that made other Perry’s patrons turn their heads as Jill was clapping with giggles.

We believe there were drinks involved, which may have added some fuel to the fire so to speak. We are not sure where the conversation turned, but Jack started talking sex.  Not just a little. A lot, and vividly, and he went on…and on.  Because Jill politely laughed out of embarrassment Jack thought he was just being flirtatious but Jill did not find it amusing.

 Needless to say Jill was completely turned off to Jack, and what started out as a great match, ended up in flames!  We were so excited about these two getting together.  This turn for the worse could have possibly ruined a perfect match.

Jack should have remembered that It’s Just Lunch.  You don’t know what your date’s hot buttons are just yet, so keep conversation light and friendly. Once you are comfortable and get to know one another, you can rest assured that more personal topics may be appropriate at that time.

Is this hot mess all Jack's Fault or was Jill partially responsible?

Do You Suffer from Dating ADD? Carpe Date-em

Our It’s Just Lunch Personal Account Rep was very excited about a DC matchmaker match she had made for our client Jill as they seems to be a perfect fit.  Knowing Jill would be happy about the match as well, she was looking forward to the call.

Low and behold, Jill agreed that Jack sounded perfect!  Her next questions was, “Well who is my next match and where am I going after I meet Jack?”  Jill, Jill, Jill…

When we set up matches, it is very important that you give your energies to your current date, especially if you agree that they sound like a good match.  If you are concentrating on dating, you will not give enough attention to the person sitting across from you. The person you are on a date with.  If you agree that Jack may be a good fit, he deserves a fighting chance by gaining your attention even if It’s Just Lunch.

If you are serious about wanting to be in a relationship, you have to understand that dating is a mean to an end. A way to get to know and understand people, not a means to know and understand dating. That, Jill, is our job!

Have you found yourself thinking about who is next instead of giving your date a fighting chance?

What Ethnicity Are You Open to Dating in DC?

Sometimes love comes in a package you were not expecting to open. Such is the case with our next IJL DC matchmaker story.  Jack is a client who had very tight ethnicity parameters, he only wanted to date women of one particular ethnicity. It is also important to Jack that he date a fit woman.

With this in mind we knew we have some great personality matches who were extremely physically fit as well.  So, we suggested to Jack that he open up his parameters. We described the 3 women that we had in mind for him if he would consider dating other ethnicities. 

Because he agreed that our matches sounded like perfect DC dates, Jack agreed to open up his dating parameters to other ethnicities.

 Good choice Jack!  Now you have an opportunity the get to know some sweet, professional women, with sexy bodies to boot!

Drop Your Online Date

Sometimes it just happens. The stars align and the perfect DC match is made here at It’s Just Lunch DC.  We love that. Here is one of those stories.

Jack received a call yesterday from us, describing Jill. She is Blond 5’4” southern belle turned DC executive who loves to play Golf . We could hear Jack’s excitement on the phone as he agreed that that was an absolutely perfect match for him.

In fact Jack was so excited about meeting Jill, that he cancelled another date that he had with some women on Match.com.

We’ll check back after the date and let you know how it went. Stay Tuned…

Tell Us Who You Are Dating in DC

It seems that our client Jack has been DC dating two of our other clients Janet and Jill. Jack met both women through us here at IJL and Janet and Jill are currently inactive.

We assume that Janet and Jill went inactive because they are dating Jack. We are very happy that they are dating but also find it very important that we know why you are going inactive.  We take great pride in knowing that our daily efforts are producing the fruits of dating.  We always love to hear that you are happily dating in DC. 

So remember to always tell us, that we have introduced you to someone that you want to spend some time with. Even if you go inactive, we are always always eager and excited to hear success stories! 

Do you know someone who had met or married through IJL? Let us know in the comments below.

IJL Client Appreciation

On Friday, two of our Personal Account Reps, here in our It's Just Lunch DC Office, were given great complements.  Even though they have been dating in DC, and have not yet met, “the one” two separate clients have congratulated us for outstanding customer service.

Jack appreciates the way that Ashley takes time to listen to his feedback. And Jill Says that Patti is always very patient. They both thanked them for their efforts last week. Jack and Jill, our efforts are worth every moment because of clients like you!

Do you have a story wherein an IJL matchmaker went above and beyond for you? Let others know in the comments section below.

How To Be Direct with Your DC Date; Tell it LIke It is

Jack and Jill went out on a date in Virginia at Panache on Thursday.  Food was great, they had a decent conversation and Jill thought that all was going quite well. 

When she asked Jack for his contact information, Jack simply stated that he was not sure that IJL knew what was right for him. This turned Jill off to IJL and to Jack as well. What Jack had done was use IJL as an excuse not to call her.

Being more direct with your dates seems to be the most effective way to get the most out of dating with IJL. If there is no chemistry between you and your DC date and you are honest about it, you can move on closer to that one date that IS “The One”.   

What Jack did, in effect was make himself look sheepish and negative. Wouldn’t you agree?

How Not to Exchange Contact Information With Your DC Date

You just had an It's Just Lunch DC date that was really nice, but he/she just isn’t right for you. At the end of the date they ask for your number. What do you do?

1)    Consider the friend option. If you just spent 3 hours in Washington DC with him but know it’s not going to develop into a love connection, you might want to consider friendship. You can tell him “I really had a great time, I can see us becoming friends. Would you like to come to my party this Saturday?” or if he seems like your co-worker’s type, tell him! “You know, I actually have a friend you might like, can I give her your number?”

2)    Be straightforward. She would much rather find out at the end of your first DC date than wait for your call that never comes. Say, “I feel the chemistry just isn’t quite right between us.” 

3)    Wish them luck. Although this is not ideal...If you’re not as comfortable being straightforward. You can just say, “Good luck with your future dates. Thanks again.”  they should get the hint. If it seems they don't get it, a more direct approach is always effective.

So how have you handled this situation? Any fun stories?

An IJL Dating Success Story

Here at It's Just Lunch DC there are certain clients we meet that we just know won’t stay single in DC for very long! How do we know this, it's simple their attitude is fantastic.

Cadence was no exception. She was a client of ours for a little over a year and just about every guy that met her wanted to see her again. She was funny, positive, articulate, and had tons of energy!

Sure enough, all it took was Tim. We introduced them to each other about a year ago. They have been dating in DC, finding themselves at places like the Spy Museum and rock climbing. Soon thereafter they called in to IJL to tell us they didn’t want to see anyone else.

Guess what? Cadence called me with her usual sunny voice just last week. She called to tell me that she is in fact, getting married to that wonderful, wonderful man we introduced her to, Tim.  No offense – but she hopes she never talks to us again! :)

We’ll miss Cadenece dearly, but we are so glad we could help them find each other!

The Top 3 Breakup Methods: How Low Can You Go?

As part of our interview process here at It’s Just Lunch in DC, we find out what worked and what didn’t work about past relationships. Inevitably, we hear some pretty sad breakup stories (and have some pretty bad ones of our own)! Here are 3 of the most common types of breakups that we have come across:

1) The Technology Breakup: I’ve heard of the “I’m Sorry. It’s over” text message, the “It’s not you, it’s me” email, and the never to be returned phone call.  I recently wrote an article about how people are actually breaking up with each other using Facebook and Skype, a one-two punch! Details here.

2) The Red-handed Breakup: Whether conscious or sub-conscious, people will cheat and get caught to avoid having to initiate a break up. 

3) The Cruel Breakup: Instead of talking through a breakup, sometimes people will be cruel, with the intention of pushing their partner away.  I’ll never forget the guy who told his fiancee, “Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.”

Breakup stories, we all have them don’t we? Some are amusing and some are just plain evil!  What’s your worst breakup story?

How To Date a Successful Man

Here at IJL it's our job to match women with the types of men they are looking for. It has been our experience that most women's description of the type of guy they want to meet, "successful" is almost always mentioned.  Realizing that there are many different definitions of success, if you want to date a man that is successful in business there are a couple things you shouldn't do or ask about:

1) Don't drink more than you can handle. A successful man wants a woman that he can bring to social events with his colleagues and business partners.

2) Be well spoken, and be the professional woman that you are :).

3) It is always attractive to be enthusiastic about your profession.  Show him the pride you take in your job, and show interest in his profession as well.

4) Don't "dig". Stay away from questions that may come off as if you are trying to pry into his economic lifestyle.  Don't ask how many cars he has, houses and so on...

5) Laugh! Have fun! A successful man most likely has a high stress job, and wants a woman he can have fun with.

So to my successful guys out there, tell me, would you agree that these are desirable traits?

Share The Love

The best complement you can give someone is to refer their service to a friend, or, in this case family member!

Fred was one of our clients.  Fred met the lovely lady who is now his wife when we here at It’s Just Lunch DC matched them up. When he decided to go inactive we were sad to see him go, but just knew we made a great match.

His success with IJL and the happiness he had found enriched his life in such a way that he wanted to share his experience, so he purchased a membership for to his son, Paul.  Paul is quite a pleasure to work with.  We are having so much fun matching him up and love having him as a client.

Thanks again Fred! Your complement is the reason why we work so hard helping people in DC find live.  We wish you love an happiness throughout your future! Don’t worry, we’ll take great care of your son.

Talking About IJL on Dates

So you get to the date, nerves take over and you can't think of anything to break the ice. So what happens...you start to talk about IJL...STOP!! In general, when you are on a first date, you always want to avoid the following:

-       Talking about another person and/or another date… makes you seem uninterested in your current date.

-       Talking about other dates that went bad… makes you look like a bad date.

-       Talking about how often you may go out on other IJL dates… this is a red flag to your current date!  They’re thinking that you aren’t looking for something

Instead, pay attention to the moment, ask open ended questions to try and get to know your date and live in the now. This is the only way to maximize your time and see if you would like to go on a second date. Remember to relax and never forget that It’s Just Lunch!

For more conversation tips read How To Interact on a Date.

Great IJL Dating Conversation Tips

I've recently been hearing questions from our clients asking what they can talk about with their first dates. Here are some first date tips that will ensure there are not awkward silences.

When your DC matchmaker is describing the next person she would like you to meet, take down a few notes on things you find interesting or have in common.  Then take a look at your notes before you get to the date, and you’ll be ready to go.  (It’s best not to bring the notes with you though!)

Be funny!  The more you can laugh and let loose, the more comfortable you each get… and this leads to a better date. Don't ever forget that It's Just Lunch.

Make sure there’s a good balance in the conversation.  Don’t do all the talking; take some time to listen too.  Don’t do all the listening either; make sure they get to know you as well.

True Chemistry Outside of Your Parameters

Last week we had three It’s JustLunch dates scheduled for the same location around the same time.  One of my clients had arrived about 45 minutes early because the metro decided to finally be on time!  As he was sitting in the lobby, a woman asking if he was her IJL date approached him.  It turns out that they were not each other’s matches, and both were a little disappointed because each felt some instant chemistry. 

To make a long story short, he called the next day asking if I could do some research and find out if he could indeed meet this woman.  I called her and she was delighted that he asked about her, and they are going out next week!  She in turn asked me why they have never been introduced before, and I explained that he is one year outside the age parameters she had been pretty strict about sticking to.  Needless to say, she is now open to meeting people outside her parameters!

IJL Client Dating in DC With Confidence

Some It's Just Lunch Metro DC client feedback I just had to share :)

"We may not go out on anymore dates, but Anna and I are great friends and talk all the time! Thanks." -MG (MG personally asked me to share this with everyone because he said its something people never think about as another perk of IJL dating!)

"With each new date I find out something new about myself. The process is working and we are getting closer and closer, can't wait for the next one." –MS

"I can't go out with Phil because we dated for 6 months a while back. We had a great time while it lasted. So it seems you called with another great match!" -VL

"My confidence has skyrocketed thanks to IJL!" -PA, DP, and many others

Happy Dating!

Tips to Make it a Great First Date DC

1. Go the Extra Mile and Look Great: When you look great, you feel great, and it shows.
2. Don’t Be in a Rush: Give yourself a little extra time to get there to eliminate the stress from traffic and the metro.  Relax and have a great time.
3. Be Yourself: Don’t try to over impress. 
4. Be Open Minded: Everyone is nervous on a first date. Give everyone a chance to open up and don’t write someone off right away
5. Have Fun: It is always great to meet someone new.  Didn’t feel that romantic connection?  No worries… you could have gained a work contact, made a new friend, found someone perfect for your best friend, found someone from your hometown or college you’d never met before, or simply had a great meal and a chat with someone new!

A DC Daters Story; Meant To Be

We love it when matches just click.  It’s as though the stars align over our office, amazing. I want to tell you a cute story about our daters at It’s Just Lunch DC.

Sometimes my clients will get specific and ask for someone who works in a certain field, plays a certain sport, shares a particular hobby, etc.  Well it turns out that Joey was asking if we had any lovely ladies who are in the medical field, like a nurse or doctor, and the next day, Rachel joins. Not only is Rachel a nurse, but she was also asking if we had any tall, dark, and handsome men in the engineering field…what do you know? That’s Joey! Needless to say, he will be Rachel's first match…

Got time for a Date DC?

Because we are a service from busy professionals you may find it challenging to schedule a time to even go on a date!  Remember that's why we at It's Just Lunch Metro DC are here for you. Here are some great tips to ensure you get those dates on your callendar.

Timecards

1. Are you free every tuesday night at 7? Let me now and I can always schedule your date then!

2. Be sure to specify whether you are free for brunch, lunch or drinks when you provide a date of availability.

3.  Take an extra second and listen to my messages... I'll leave details about your match and their availability so we have somewhere to start.

4. Check your calendar first to ensure you're free to minimize reschedules.

5. If you're one of the lucky ones who's really organized and you can provide your availability for the whole month... Give me a call and let me know.

Have DC Dating Rules Changed?

I got a call from Emily yesterday and we’re stuck in a bit of a dilemma. She had a great first date with Dillon and asked him if he’d like to come to a football game with her since she had an extra ticket. 

They went out, had a good time, but she was turned off by the fact that he didn’t pay for her food.

What do you think? Should Cadence have expected to pay since she asked? Or should Dillon have picked up the tab since he’s a guy?

Opposites Attract; Dating in DC

Lately I've noticed some of my IJL clients are getting discouraged about potential matches because they don't share ALL of the same hobbies.  Just because your match enjoys skiing and you may not, does not mean that the two of you are not compatible. To have chemistry with someone does not require having absolutely everything in common.   

 

Dating someone with different interests could afford you the opportunity to learn about something new. Maybe you would develop a new interest, or decide not to - and that would be okay too

In fact, it is important that you grow in any relationship. Learning if you like, love or dislike new things is the catalyst to growth.  The best partner is one that challenges you to be the best you that you can be. Wouldn’t you agree?

 

When Giving a Little Gets You A lot: Opening Your Parameters

I just wanted to share a few stories about past and recent instances where my clients have stepped out of their boxes for a bit and found that an open mind can take you far!

Bob had recently joined IJL and brought with him a lot of traveling experiences, personal success, and a great attitude about getting out there and finding someone. Lucy had been with us for about a month and although she had enjoyed all her dates thus far she hadn't found that initial spark she was looking for. I had a gut feeling Lucy and Bob would hit it off, so I called Lucy to ask if she was open to dating other ethnicities. She said she'd never thought about it before but was open to the idea. Bob and Lucy had drinks on a Thursday, went to a concert together the next night, and have continued to talk since!

Frank is the kind of guy who takes things slow. When he would meet someone he was interested in seeing again, he'd ask that we give him some time and check in a couple weeks later. We would wish him good luck and as promised check in with him from time to time. 

So last week I get a call that Frank is back in the game and ready to meet some new people. I initially thought of Kimberly who had recently joined while Frank was on hold. He said he wanted to really focus on successful, well-rounded, classy women with no children. I told Frank I'd be more than happy to send him out with women with no children, but I couldn't get Kimberly out of my mind. I called him the next day and told him he had to meet her, even though she had two beautiful children. He reluctantly agreed. Frank called the next morning after his date with Kimberly to thank me for the suggestion and to say that she was everything and more. Frank was thinking about moving, but has since postponed that idea and is looking forward to more dates with Kimberly!

Why Don't DC Daters Call When They Say They Will?

You just had a great date with an intelligent, smooth, witty guy. In fact, he even drives you home, walks you to the door, and you’re thinking, “What a gentleman!” He calls you later that night to say what a nice time he had and he wants to see you again. He’ll call you tomorrow.

And then…he just doesn’t.

I met with Amy earlier today and this is exactly what happened on her last date. So, she asked me, “Why? Why go through all the trouble and then just never call?”

And it’s not just guys. I have heard from plenty of men disappointed that women wouldn’t return their calls even though they seemed to have a great time.

What do you think, why do they say they call when they know they won’t?

Top 3 Ideas for a Second Date in DC or Northern VA

- Dinner at a quiet restaurant with an intimate atmosphere such as Mie N Yu

- A picnic (bonus points if you make everything yourself)

- A walk in the park

Remember - the focus of a second date should be getting to know that person sitting across from you a little better. You want to choose a quiet location where your conversation won't be drowned out by music or the hundreds of other conversations happening around you. 

After date two, feel free to get a little more creative going to concerts, apple picking, sporting events, or that new movie you've both been dying to see.

Krista White 

To Wait or Not to Wait?

I have a really amazing story to share....

We matched Jessica up with Matt a couple years back. The night of their date, Matt was running really late. Jessica waited about 15 mins and then called her friend to see what she should do. Her friend told her, “You’re already there…why don’t you just wait another 5 mins just in case?” So she did. Five minutes later, Matt comes rushing in, and sure enough he was worth waiting for! In fact, not only did they have a great first date, but that date turned into a second and third and now we just got word they are getting married! Can you imagine if she hadn’t waited that extra 5 minutes?

Let's Talk About Your Ex.

Everyone has one...but your date doesn't want to hear about yours. Talking about your ex can only work against you. If you speak poorly about them, it can be off-putting and make you seem negative. If you speak too highly of them, your It's Just Lunch date might wonder if you are really ready to move on. Either way, it takes the conversation in a direction that isn't going to help your chances of getting a second date.

I wholeheartedly believe that you should share your past with the person you are beginning a future with. I have just seen so many great dates go bad just because exes come into the conversation. Don't give your ex the power to ruin your new relationship before it even begins! If your date brings it up, be honest but don't spend too much time on it. Put your best foot forward and move on to more positive subjects...what is she passionate about? Where would he like to travel in the future?

People are drawn to a positive mentality. Keep the questions coming and find out what you have in common. If things go well, there will be plenty of other time to discuss your dating history along with every other detail!

Krista White

To Date or Not to Date; It’s Just Lunch Metro DC Dating Best Practices

When your It's Just Lunch personal account rep calls to tell you about a new match, it is our nature and can be tempting to reject the person if you hear a few details that don’t quite fit what you’re looking for.  If you prefer a man that’s at least 6’ tall, or if you only want to date women who live in metropolitan DC, rejecting a match who is only 5’9” or who lives in Alexandria might seem like an easy way to narrow the pool of potential matches to focus on just what you want.  But don’t give in to temptation! 

Many people get stuck in a dating rutt and continue to re-live their negative dating patterns over and over again.  Like any great matchmaker should, your director and personal account rep at It’s Just Lunch Metro DC will occasionally ask you to “flex” to introduce you to matches that may not quite fit your original parameters in order to bring you together with a truly wonderful person.  And, like any good matchmaker should, we may push you a little outside your boundaries in order to help you find someone truly exceptional!  If your matchmaker or personal account rep contacts you with a match that sounds just a little different from what you’re used to, keep in mind that true compatibility can come in surprising packages. We see it happen all of the time!

Remember, stepping outside of your comfort zone is one reason why you joined It’s Just Lunch.  We’ve been making matches for over 25 years. Keep an open mind, and trust that we have your happiness as our first priority! You won’t regret that you did, and after all It’s Just Lunch!

Krista White

Real Feedback from It's Just Lunch DC Daters; Straight From the Dater's Lips

“She must have had something really important going on because she was on her cell phone the whole time.  I felt like it was her escape plan in case I turned out to be a dud.”

It seems everyone must be connected to the world at all times! When you are meeting someone for the first time they really deserve your undivided attention. So put that Blackberry or iPhone in your purse or pocket and give your date the respect they deserve. You could be missing out on a very special person while keeping “connected.”  Remember why you are with us. You have to make your date, your love life a priority.  A commitment to your dating life in DC is a commitment to your own future!